Clean sweep

Hey internet! I'm back!

Sorry, that whole getting-the-kids-back-to-school completely kicked my ass. But now that the dust has settled somewhat, I'm incredibly excited and energetic--the way I am every fall.

I love summer, but fall--when the heat's not on yet, but the air conditioner is off? Is the best time of the year. And it doesn't hurt that my kids are in school and I can actually get things done.

So here are three ways I'm welcoming fall.


My Diet

I signed up for a free LiveStrong MyPlate account. This is a great site with fabulous free diet tools. As far as I'm concerned, this site leaves Weight Watchers's online tools (which ran really slowly and frequently crashed my laptop) sitting in the road.

LiveStrong offers a lot of important health information--so much that I feel sort of petty bothering them with being pudgy. I mean, hello, the first thing you see when you head to the site is a huge photograph of Lance Armstrong. Way to make me feel shallow, Lance.

But MyPlate has so many useful tools. It helped me figure out how many calories to eat every day in order to lose 1.5 pounds a week. (And mid-life ladies? Do we agree that a measly 1,375 calories a day is not very much food? I thought so.)

I track what I eat every day. I track my so-called workouts. And once or twice a week, I weigh myself and add that information, too.

I'm just geeky enough to sort of enjoy this kind of thing. This helps me tolerate a life of 1,375 calories a day. Which is good, because 1,375 calories = Not Enough Wine.

Also, I've lost six pounds. That helps, too.

My Complexion

Have any of you bought a Clarisonic? I've heard great things from a couple of friends, but I balk at spending $250 for a face scrubbing doo-hickey.

That's why I'm so delighted with the Sephora complexion brush I got in a party goodie bag.

A couple of my friends have popped for the Clarisonic, but I'm analog to their digital. I use a Sonicare on my teeth two or three times a day. At this point, I'm excited about using a tool that doesn't make an annoying high-pitched whining noise.

Believe it or not, this little $5 face brush does the job. I use it morning and night, and it helps bump up the cleansing power of my Murad cleanser. The cleanser rinses off better, too, probably because the brush distributes it more evenly.

I swear, I have a real glow, and my pores look smaller. Not bad for five dollars!

My Closet

I'm either bored with or sick of everything in my closet. On top of that, I have clothes that are size 10, 12, 14, and 16. It's time they went. I deserve to have a closet full of clothes that I like and that fit.

I am in serious purge mode.

This is way more than a change of seasons switch-up. It's like I walked into my bedroom and went all drill sergeant: Listen up, good-enough clothes. You're not. You're The Clothes Formerly Known as Good Enough. And your mama isn't here to help you out. It's time to shape up or ship out. Now drop and give me fifty!

I'm getting rid of an amazing amount of stuff.

I'm starting with the size 16 summer stuff. When I do laundry, I'm folding my summer clothes and putting them in donation bags.

By next summer, I'll be wearing significantly smaller clothes! Either that or I'll be wearing a barrel.

Weird Things I LikeTM: Old crappe

Confession time: I'm a pack rat married to a pack rat.

And this is good news! It means there will never be a shortage of Weird Things for me to write about. I've got a few years worth of posts right here at home. This means you can look forward to some delightfully schadenfreude-y Fridays.* You'll look around at your tiny accumulation of old newspapers and catalogs and think "At least I'm not as bad as Poppy."

Here's how bad I am. Yesterday Mr. Buxom got a new violin string from Amazon.com. He'd been missing a string for a while, and as soon as he tuned up, he wanted to play.

Mind you, the last time he played the violin, internet shopping hadn't been invented. There was no Amazon.com. Or if there was, it was for buying books. Which gives you an idea of how long it's been since he's played.

Anyhow, he tuned up the violin and started looking around for his sheet music. And couldn't find it, so he asked me if I knew where it was. Now, we moved into this house 11 years ago and he hasn't used the music in all that time, so no, I didn't know where it was.

The contents of what we laughingly refer to as "the music room":
Four instruments, one amplifier, a bunch of music, and two
misplaced board games. What's missing? Talent.

I started digging through the sheet music. When I was finished going through my vocal music, my old piano music, my now-deceased father's piano music, the flute music for my daughter who never learned to play the flute, the recorder music from each child's third grade recorder-playing stage, my collection of sheet music from the 1920s, 30s, and 40s, a few random bits of accordion and organ music of my father's which really shouldn't be here because we don't own or play an accordion or organ, I still hadn't found it.

A small sampling of my massive accumulation collection of vintage sheet
music. Do I actually play it? No. Do I frame it? No.
Does it hang out in the piano bench? Yes.

He started giving me the hairy eyeball, but I didn't throw his violin music out, I swear. I told him that if I haven't thrown out his Ranger Rick magazines from the early 1970s, or his high school spelunking equipment, or his grandfather's genealogy charts, or the 12 linear feet of National Geographic magazines even though ALL of the NG is available on disks now, I wouldn't have thrown out his violin music.

I mean, there's been an empty violin case in our basement storage area for years, and I haven't thrown THAT out.

And he believed me. Not because of my eloquence, but due to the completely ridiculous amount of crap I generously allow him to own.

I guess this means I need to clean/reorganize the basement, because I really believe there's a box of violin music down there somewhere. So if you don't hear from me for a few days, send paramedics. I'll probably be pinned under a collection of vintage Fisher-Price Little People sets.

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* Yes, people. The internet has spoken, and the weekly Weird Things post is going to take place on Friday. Apparently people like the whole WTF idea.